Author: Rosemary Spark

Journey through Pain

If you don’t know what fibromyalgia is. read this

Journey through Pain

Rosemary Spark

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
In out, in out
They..(the chiros, the physios, the doctors, yogis) say
it helps
Maybe it does
I can still think…just
But,
all my mind thinks is pain
All I feel is pain

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
What do they say?
They say
“This may be uncomfortable”
It’s as far from comfort as the moon from the Earth
As far from my mother’s arms as the coldest Antarctic

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say “relax”
But I have to hold on
Because if I let go
I might disappear into the pain
Be sucked into the whirlpool
Until I no longer exist
Until there’s no longer any way to remember.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They ask,
“How do you rate your pain 0-10?”
10 million is not high enough
There are not enough zeroes
In any number.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say it’s not really pain
“It’s in your mind”
What is my mind then to create such a monster?
Such a dark, red nightmare of pain.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say, “It’s in your brain”
It’s learnt to be in pain”
Yes
In my brain
In my heart
In my body
In my spirit.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say
“It’s only pain
No foul, no harm.”
The harm is the pain
Because it’s in the way
Of life,
of love,
of God.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say
“Be in the moment”
Yes, in the everlasting second
In the endless eternity of pain
In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
In out, in out.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say,
Think positive
But the pain is a grey cloud
That darkens my mind
Until I can no longer think
No word follows word.

In out, in out
Got to remember to breathe
They say,
Pain brings you closer to God.
But it takes so much space
There is no room,
I can’t find a chink
Or find a place to stand.

Letter to New Prime Minister 2010

Prime Minister,
Welcome. As a woman, I look to you to bring into being some of the things that have not received adequate care. As a person who has always supported the Labor party, I want to see some traditional values upheld..”.a fair go” might be a good start…
1) We need to give our environment “a fair go”. Action has to be taken to care for our environment, to cut pollution and to look for alternatives to fossil fuel..that do not hold the future to ransom. Nuclear energy is not an alternative.
2) We have to give Refugees a” fair go”Refugees however they come should be treated with courtesy and prompt action. Many Australians have offered spare rooms..look and listen…there are many Australians who welcome “new Australians” Under no circumstances should families be separated and put in prison..
3) We have to give those who are struggling with Mental Health a “fair go” There is no way, in our prosperous Australia people should be homeless because they can’t hold a job, fill in all the forms,etc because they are mentally ill. They have slipped through the cracks. We have to provide a safety net
4) We have to allow information access a “fair go” Internet filtering that copies China and Korea is inappropriate, expensive and without adequate safeguards. Extend systems that allow people to choose the amount of filtering for their own families, allied with proper blocking of sites judged by the people who censor books and videos.(not iSPS!)..but with lists available
4) We need to give our indigenous brothers and sisters a “fair go” Apply the same rules to white sexual offenders as you do to indigenous people in NT. Have you taken over the communities in Victoria where sexual offenders live? Infrastructure you supply to mining towns might be pleasant in indigenous communities. If you can’t pay compensation, at least supply teachers and doctors. Best of all…ask.

I hope you read this and understand my heart cries out to see a government that cares.